Boyz II Men

Here's my final Phillyist column.

Short and sweet. ish.

DMX

Snowpocalypse '11? Not quite, but that was some serious snow last night.

Wandered out into it to get some medicine. There was a foot of snow on the street. Way to go, jerks. I park for twenty minutes and I get a parking ticket, but you can't clean the streets? I SEE HOW IT IS.

I just finished off my farewell column for Phillyist, that should be up soon. I'll let you know.

Some tweets I tweeted today:

I got [crumbs] on my [shirt] and there's no remorse, I got [icing] on my [face] cause I [ate] a [cake], I'm a [messy eater] #DMXedited


It's the nonstop [meow, meow] of [playful kittens] #DMXedited


Running around here like some brand new [kitten] that's about the get [petted] #DMXedited



So, if you aren't yet, get at me on there. TWITTER!

GAFABP 2.0

Ok, so I am moving onward and upward with Good Advice From a Bad Person, including:

Goodadvicefromabadperson@gmail.com

and

@GAFABP on twitter!


Figured out how to forward my gmail, but does anyone know an easy way to manage two twitter accounts?

I'll tumble for ya

Ok I know. I am just bored tonight.

Sometimes I want to write about girls. But that's a HORRIBLE IDEA.

So instead, I bring you this thing I made, to explain my life in girl adventures.

Burn.

This is a little Tumbley of me, but it was too clever not to put up.

Canadiens, you blow. Meh, you too, Canadians.

Rodeo

I was sick all weekend.

I slept for 17 of the 24 hours between 2 am Saturday and 2 am Sunday. I never do that. It was bizarre.

Yesterday was the "Christmas" party at Cheers. I think I have a hangover despite not drinking. But I won a prize? So there's that.

Also: football, annoying whore cat, Target, watermelon juice, cough medicine brain freeze, not enough degrees, tapas, all my electronics turning on me, else.

Via Black and wtf.

Gimme books to read.

Someone suggested Martin Amis. I started reading Time's Arrow because it was the only book of his the book store had, but it is kind of annoying to read. I mean, I think that is kind of the point?

So, on to Phillyist:

Phillyist is shutting down. Meaning, my Good Advice From a Bad Person columns are now homeless, at least as far as a home beyond here.

If anyone knows of a spot for them to be, that'd be awesome. Especially if that spot wanted to pay me to write them. I need to get my shit together and try to find something. I should write to Philly Weekly and the City Paper.

The Phillyist editors are making a new site. But a) I don't think they like me very much anymore after I was a pain in the ass to them and b) I don't think my particular brand of wit fits with their "theater reviews!" theme. They left me out of the "here's our new idea" email until I specifically asked for it.

Onward and upward.

RIP

So this is happening.

Crap.

Phillyist will no longer be publishing new posts as of February 1st.

I blame everyone, but me.

To be honest, this is a huge bummer, and I am super grateful Phillyist hooked me up and gave me a spot to post my stuff.

I'll write more about this when I understand it a little better.

If all else fails I will just publish my GAFABPs here, as I did before. But I would really love to find another home for them.


Hmmm I wonder if Philebrity is 'hiring'.

A Day Late

Ooooops.

My Good Advice From a Bad Person is up today instead of yesterday.

So be it.

Vanity

So I just read Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs. Another non-book book. But it was pretty interesting. I never caught this one the first time around when everyone else did, so I felt I kinda owed it to Chuck.

He is a total hater and pop culture whore, so I kind of could relate.

He proposed some interesting hypothetical scenarios. The one I found the most interesting I asked a bunch of my male friends. To my surprise, I was the only one who chose one of the options, while they all agreed on the other.

Here is the scenario, paraphrased:

Would you rather sleep with the one person in the world you most want to sleep with (celebrity, whatever), but NO ONE can ever know...

OR

Would you rather be seen in public hand in hand with this person for a long enough time that everyone THINKS you slept with them, but you don't actually get to sleep with them.

Would you rather have the 5, 10, 15 minutes of visceral experience with the person you most desire, or the vanity and notoriety associated with it, if you had to choose between the two?

To me, the choice was obvious. But ALL my male friends disagreed with me. I wonder what this says about me. I have my theories.

WFC

Same Bat Channel

Here is today's Good Advice From a Bad Person.

It is about hamsters. Awwww.

Wasteland

I am reading Patton Oswalt's new book right now. It's a nice read; funny and compelling, but I noticed something. So many of these new books AREN'T books. So many of these new celebrated authors don't bother writing novels. They are mishmashed memoirs and jokey sections. I could totally pull this off, and it is much easier than a novel. Thanks lazy readers/writers, for giving me hope.



Speaking of memoirs I wish I could write about half the shit that happens to me in here.

Instead I'll just continue to complain about my car. The radiator exploded and the windshield needs to be replaced. Trust me, that is so not as interesting as the real shit I want to complain about.

Apparently we are all lined up for another snowpocalypse again today. I don't really care. It's all the same to me.

To bright futures.

Have To

Here it is, like every other Thursday.

In other news, fuck your couch.

2011

Happy New Year.

Things I learned in 2010:

1. Cats are just as annoying to own as I thought they would be
2. It's nice having a warm, fuzzy jerk to come home to
3. You can't always get what you want
4. Some people you just can't help
5. I will never have a car that runs perfectly and without incident
6. Being happy is all that matters
7. There are people out there who enjoy what I write
8. I like early 90's college rock way more than I should

Things for 2011:

1. Write more, bitch less
2. Get paid to write
3. Know when it's time to let go
4. Eat better/cheaper
5. Play sports
6. Go to a Phillies game with my dad
7. Onward, upward
8. Schedule

I am started 2011 pretty much how I started 2010. Same job, same apartment, same life. While I am alright with my job, apartment and life, I feel like I should not start 2012 the same way. I have made progress this year, but most of it is not tangible. I think I am a happier stronger person, but some of the shallow things, like money and job are where they were a a year ago. Shallow things matter. Progress is important. I want to be like a shark, always moving, not even able to go backward. I'll let you know how this works out.

Those aren't resolutions per se, but continuing goals, maxims and benchmarks.

What about you? How was your 2010? What are you trying to accomplish in 2011? How far have you come? How far will you go?