Diary of a Hater

Hey! You know what I hate? Fake cookies! I'm looking at you, oatmeal raisin.



If I wanted all that healthy crap I wouldn't be eating cookies, now would I. It's not like they are good for you either. Is this some sort of guilt avoidance trick? "I want cookies, but I don't want to feel bad about it - I'll just throw some non-delicious crap in there and it will be all better!"

No! It doesn't work like that. Man up and eat a triple chocolate chunk, pansy. Hey raisins, get out of here. You're dumb, you aren't even a grape. You don't belong in my cookies. Sometimes you even trick me into thinking you are chocolate chips and I get SO MAD at you. I hate you.



Hey - you want a broccoli cookie? No! I don't, creep.

My worst birthday ever was the one where my mom get me a carrot cake. CARROT CAKE? You've got to be kidding me. Carrots don't belong in cakes! What am I, a rabbit? Thanks for nothing, MOM. You're lucky I got so many sweet GI Joes that birthday, or you would have been on my shitlist all year.

Destro, you idiot! Carrot cakes are gross!

Also currently hating:
Ineffective air conditioning
Bad drivers
Sirens
World Cup games that don't involve someone getting kicked in the face
Shirts with sleeves
The Man
Waiting a whole week for the next FNL episode
Not having more GAFABPs (Your fault!)

Currently digging/getting stoked on:
Concerts of bands I never thought I'd see (Faith no more, Cap'n Jazz)
Futurama
Kittens (shut up!)
Root Beer!