During a baseball game, as a player comes to bat, a song of his choosing plays. Here are the songs that I would choose for the current crop of Fightin' Phils.
Lookin' good, P
1. Jimmy Rollins: Ridin' - Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie Bone
Leading Off, Jimothy Rollins. I chose this song for young master Rollins for a few reasons. First, catchers are always trying to catch Jimmy ridin' dirty (stealing bases). Those catchers are ALWAYS hatin' and patrolin', but lucky for Jimothy, and us, they are rarely successful in their efforts. Also there is a certain corniness about both Chamillionaire and J-Roll, but the best part, is that they know it's corny, and are in on the joke. They know they're corny, right?
2. Placido Polanco: Kensington Line - Big Head Todd and The Monsters OK, I knew there was a band called Big Head Todd and the Monsters, so I searched for them. The first song that came up was a song named after a neighborhood in Philadelphia. I had to use that, right? Sorry if the song blows.
3. Chase Utley: Stray Cat Strut - Stray Cats Chase Utley is as near to human perfection as we'll witness on this Earth. Due to that, I'll never let him live down that magazine cover with his wife and a bunch of cats. Also something something slicked back hair.
4. Ryan Howard: Two Dope Boyz (In a Cadillac) - Outkast With a lot more cred than Chamillionaire, but not enough cred that white people don't love them, I thought Outkast was perfect for "The Big Piece." Also, this one is an obvious nod to Howard's natural talents toward Sarge's "Cadillac time."
5. Jayson Werth: Loco en el Coco - Cypress Hill This one is too perfect to explain why.
6. Raul Ibanez: Evenflow - Pearl Jam I read somewhere that Raul Ibanez loved Pearl Jam. I was googling that just now and found that that Raul does indeed love Pearl Jam, and used to actually come out to their songs. So this one is pretty accurate? Also, as reported on another site, I once saw Raul Ibanez at a bar, he was very nice and wore a man purse.
7. Shane Victorino: If You're Gonna be Dumb (You Gotta be Tough) - Smut Peddlers Some say that baseball is the most cerebral sport, with some players getting by merely on their mental acuity and knowledge of the game. Shane Victorino is not one of those players.
8. Carlos Ruiz: Turn My Swag On - Soulja Boy (Tell Em) This is Chooch's own choice for entrance music, that is too incredible to change. I know Chooch looks in the mirror and says "What's up?" I love that man.
9. Roy Halladay: O Fortuna - Carl Orff I imagine that this is the song that is always playing in Roy's mind. At least, it's always playing in my mind when I think of Roy, which is often. Did you know that Roy Halladay is actually left-handed? Or that he once spent time on the DL in the minors when his arm turned to solid gold? Or that the script for The Natural was adapted from a book report he did in the third grade on Little League Baseball Guide to Correcting the 25 Most Common Mistakes: Recognizing and Repairing the Mistakes Young Players Make? Ralph Nader's original focus of Unsafe at Any Speed was a treatise on Halladay's fastball? Or that Roy Halladay's fastball is actually his changeup and his changeup is a double changeup? Or that his unborn son was drafted with the first overall pick by the Pittsburgh Pirates in the 2002 MLB draft? Once, while still with Toronto, at a start in Yankee stadium, one of Halladay's cutters sent Yankee coach Don Zimmer into cardiac arrest. While gasping his last breaths on this Earth, Zimmer saw Halladay's next pitch. Roy twirled a changeup of such transcendent beauty, that the pitch inspired Zimmer to live, as he now knew that both God and Love were real and alive in that young pitcher's sinewy and majestic right arm. All of these things are true and real.
There you have it folks. Go Phils!
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