Pole

I have found the bottom of the world - The darkest, most terrifying corner of society. A cave full of rocks with horrible scum underneath the rocks. And since the world is round it has two bottoms (and no tops (worst gaydate ever)).

Those two bottoms, those two pits of eternal despair, those two fiery hells of idiocy and shame are YouTube comments and lyrics websites.



My impression of YouTube comments

NattyIce69 Lol funny
MillerGuy123 Lol N[word] probably don't video Lol N[word]
PoetSmartness Noway did cat do that, this is fake. fake video is fake.
8582PikachuLol! I'm forwording dis to every1 I kno!11 Lol
TwilightTwetard23321 VAMPIREES!
CaptBoobboob i luv lamp. BOrat.

And then I want to die. And everyone else to die. And the Earth to have never existed.

I know it shouldn't bother me. I know I shouldn't read them. But it does, and I do. I don't know why. It's terrifying that this exists in this world. How could love be real in world that produced this? How could any good exist simultaneously with YouTube comments?

The lyrics websites. Oh Boy.

So, I was playing Rock Band 3, and the song "Portions for Foxes" by Rilo Kiley came on. I was wondering about one of the lyrics, so I looked it up. Right under the lyrics, the comments start. mfrae says:

From Jenny Lewis on lead guitar to her absolutely incredible vocals, this is one of the greatest pop/rock songs ever recorded. Rilo Kiley is a truly underrated band who may never record another album. But this one song will should put Jenny into the rock and roll hall of fame someday.

I put it in purple, because I imagine that person thinks in purple. Really? One of the greatest songs ever recorded? And that single song will put Jenny into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame some day? And you are thinking about future Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees?

RAHHHH

People are the worst. I was going to copy and paste more but this is how they all go:

This song is about me and my ____! It's like she wrote it about me! I went through this! I am a moron! I have simple emotions that mean the world to me and you need to know about it! Thanks Jenny!

Or:

commenter1:
I listen to this song constantly, and I think about it all the time and I think this song is about [the super obvious thing this song is about and it couldn't be about something else] because [the fucking lyrics are exactly what this song is about]

commenter2:
Actually I think this song is about [the exact same thing you said, but somehow I'm too stupid to realize we are saying the same thing] like, totally, like [more painfully obvious lyrics without any imagery, metaphors or potential second meanings that could possibly be construed any other way]

Or:

[ I have no idea what I am talking about but I took English in high school so I am using words I learned there and trying to put something there that isn't there and this song is about] society's take on [some buzz word or concept] and how we, as people deal with [it doesn't matter what I say here, I still think I'm smart] post[just kill me] and schism.


So, there you have it. The two places of the internet that make me want to pull a Falling Down on everyone and everything.

What grinds your gears?