Curls

So this whole finding a car thing is kind of like finding a girlfriend.

It's going to cost me a ton of money and frustration. And really I just need one that is going to look so cool it gets me girls.

Last night I forgot to take out the trash and change the cat's litter. This caused me to have a "nightmare" about finding another, unchanged, secondary cat box in my apartment. My brain is stupid when I'm not in charge of it.

Hey it's 60 degrees today! But also Seattle. Take the good with the bad.

I had to go to a notary yesterday, and it made me realize that notary might be the silliest, most archaic public service position in existence. It's like having a horse inspector around the corner.

OSCARS! I didn't see a single movie that was nominated for any of those awards. Not a single one. I honestly think the last movie I saw in the the theaters in the last 365 days was Paranormal Activity 2, and that was terrible (as I knew it would be).

Let's party?

Warlock

Woah, long time no see. Sorry about that, creeps.

Still car blah blah blahing. Insurance companies are devils, etc.

I think I might go check out a 1979 Warlock. Badass truck hey.



Besides that, my life is boring.

Lately, a few people have made the same accusation about me.

They say I'm a big fish in a small pond, and that's just how I like it. I can tell you all I want about how much I love the suburbs, and how the city isn't really for me, and how I've done that and I'm over it. But, maybe they are right. Maybe I do like being the coolest guy in town. Maybe I do like everyone knowing my name. Maybe I do want to be a big, handsome, funny fish in a small pond. This needs more thought.

Scratch that.

That super awesome truck I was looking at got sold out from under me.


Back to the drawing board.

Fuck the Po-lice

And by po-lice, I mean my insurance company.

Got their initial, low-ball offer today. I mean, it wasn't that low, but I think I can get more out of them.

Especially since their comps for a 2002 WRX with 90,000 miles were mostly Imprezas and Outbacks with 120,000+ miles on them.

Assholes.


In other news, my parents dogs are bad, demanding and adorable.

I bet my next girlfriend will be those three things too.

Camusentine

Valentine

So it's Valentine's Day.

I don't have a girlfriend, so it really isn't that big of a deal. I just know I can't hang out with any girls tonight, lest I give them the wrong idea. Ha.

Here's the most romantic song I could find.



I'm at my parents house watching their dogs this week. Please don't rob my apartment. But if you do, feed my cat while you are there.

I totally want to buy this truck:





And I think I might.

Car News (snooze)

My car is officially totaled.

RIP 2002 Subaru WRX Wagon. You've served me well. I'm glad I got some awesome donuts out of you in your last big snowfall.

It was a good car, fast and perky, up for any snowy problems. It saved me and my friends from an icy doom many times.

But, as I realized, I'm not exactly a Japanese station wagon kind of guy, no matter how cool said wagon is.

What should my next car be?

K-S my H

So I found this thing of York peppermint patties from Christmas. And it made me feel like this song. Presumably, strippers and blow make most people feel like this song.

I am sure there is a heart attack joke in here somewhere.

This is funny to me because someone thought you might want to follow along with the lyrics and made a Youtube video of that. Maybe they are picturing people using this to do some low budget, at-home Karaoke to this song. That makes me sad.

Sweet typeface bro.

One of these days I'm going to make an anonymous blog so I can blog about actual crazy shit and you can laugh at me and people I know in real life. As for now, I think that would be a terrible idea.

I think one of the greatest hurdles most novelists need to clear is the ability, shamelessness and willingness to sell out their closest friends and family. I strive for this. question mark??



No car updates. I see this shaking out one of two ways:

a) car is totaled. I am forced to haggle with insurance over price of car, takes a few weeks for a check to come.

b) car is not totaled. I must wait a few weeks for car to be fixed, pay a $500 deductible and my car will never be the same.

BOTH THESE OPTIONS SUCK.

No Cheerleaders at the Super Bowl (Superb Owl)

Yesterday was the first day in a while I didn't have an article due.

Which was nice, because of not having to do work, but pretty crappy in that I don't have an article up this week, and don't have a place for my stuff yet. Still looking.

Car update: no update.

But the rental place gave me a giant pickup truck. Which is kind of funny. It was that or a Hyundai Elantra. Easy choice.

So I am thinking my car is totaled. If that's the case, I need a new car.

What kind of car should I get? I should start a poll. Any ideas?

I Picked the Wrong Day to Quit Sniffing Glue

Post subtitled: I have always depended on the ineptitude of strangers.

Sooooo today I was taking a wee break from work to run some errands.

As I approached my car I thought "Hm, that's weird, I don't remember parking my car at a 45 degree angle, half on a snow bank"



and then it hit me: I didn't! Some stranger was kind enough to take their car and ram it into my car, achieving that awesome new parking spot.

That was so nice of someone. To be able to manage hitting my car so hard that it moved 6-8 feet. I am really impressed they were able to generate enough force about 25 feet from a stop sign, on a turn, in front of a school to smack my car this hard. Wow!

Thanks again!

It's worse than it looks. The other car apparently had to be towed.

Wintery Mix

Please stop Tweeting/Facebook Statusing about going to the gym. I get it, you go to the gym. This makes you a really great person. But, in a world where people talk about the mundane shit they do, this particular mundane shit gets way overused. I know you do it just to tell us that you go to the gym. Theoretically you do plenty of over things on a semi-regular basis that you don't mention, but you feel compelled to tell us all that you are very interested in fitness (not vanity/increasing your ability to get laid). Soooooo, stfu. Really.


In other news, it's February. AKA probably the worst month. Christmas is over, but it's not Spring yet. Snore.


I'm actually working on some new playlists. Remember those? Awwww.

I think I am finally getting over my cold, which means I'm getting over my two-weeks-of-feeling-perpetually-uncomfortable-and-grumpy.

Hey, remember Good Advice From a Bad Person? Let's do that. goodadvicefromabadperson@gmail.com is there for a reason, assholes.

I'm still looking for a place to ply my wares. Feel free to suggest something. I really don't think I'll be moving on to Phillyist's new venture, for obvious reasons. Those reasons being I don't like musical theater. And they don't want me to. Or like me. ha.