GAFABP

Friday! Wooo! I love Friday, because it means Boy Meets World is on tonight.

I am so going to see this movie this weekend. It is going to be awesome.



It just sucks that my Alien/Predator/Alien vs. Predator box set is now incomplete.


Good Advice from a Bad Person has joined the Miami Heat. This week I bring you Delonte West.

Dearest Toney,

I have a problem that maybe you can be sarcastically helpful with. I am off one day during the week and I like to reserve that time for running errands and being with friends. The problem is that I hate going outside of my house when I'm off. I often have to go to Whole Foods, I'll stop at Starbucks also but it stresses me out. I don't like mingling with other people, especially the types that frequent Whole Foods and Starbucks. Also, the main issue is that if I go out I'll come home and some sort of time has passed - 2 hours, 3 hours. Whatever. I always feel like I'm wasting my time!
So I sit in my house, watch the clock tick by, frantically worried that I'm running out of time.
I wanted to be out of my house today at 8:30, but again, it's 9:30 and I don't want to go out and deal with the shits that are running amock in my area.
Anything?

Signed,
I've got a list of things to do today, but none of it will get finished

Dearlest IGALOTTDT,BNOIWGF,

That's a mouthful. First thing I am going to be "sarcastically helpful with" is telling you to not finish your sentences in prepositions. Wait, that wasn't sarcastic, just don't do that.

Second, sounds like you and I have a similar problem - hating people who shop at Whole Foods, but I've been over that. Avoid them. I have no advice on that. My advice is to Whole Foods: stay open 24 hours a day so I can go when these horrible people are asleep.

Third, and this is my stroke of genius. Or ego.


Woof!

Build a couch fort tunnel! Build one out your front door to Starbucks. Take this tunnel next time you want your venti capamochalatte. This way, you don't have to see strangers, you get your stuff done (like building a fort!) and you're awesome. Also, this is probably the only way you could justify it taking you 2-3 hours to go to Starbucks.

Also, you have one weak ass catch-22. You feel like you are wasting your time, so you waste your time to avoid wasting your time. Smart! But here, you can feel better about this. Even if you don't make it out of your house by 9:30 (12:30, really) I'm still asleep! So you've got me beat. Way to go!

Also, you should probably stop drinking coffee.

Let me see your fort when you're done,

Tony


Hey! That was a good one. You're welcome everyone. Build forts, predate, shoot off the rest of your fireworks and listen to Faith No More.