GAFABP

A GAFABP - on a Monday? Yes. Deal with it.

Dear Tony,

I am a super hot 20-something living in the city, all the men who look at me are too nervous to come and talk to me, probably because of all the hotness exuding from my pores. My question is this: what can I do to turn down all this hotness so I can get a date? I definitely didn't attach a picture to this because I do not want to date you Tony, even though I thoroughly enjoy your blog.

Love,

Super Hot Girl

Thanks for writing SHG,

To my readers: she is lying. She does want to date me.

To you, Super Hot Girl, I can offer this modest advice. First, you probably want to talk about less things "exuding from your pores" because that's gross. No one wants to think about pores or things coming out of them or any of that such stuff. Leave that alone.

Second, are you sure it is your hotness that is deflecting potential suitors? Are you sure you aren't ugly? That might be it. You very well could be ugly. Nothing is worse than a girl who thinks she's hotter than she is. I developed a formula for this.

Hp-H=T or, Self-Perceived hotness minus actual hotness equals how much Tony is going to want to hit on you. Your score here should be negative for best results. Nothing is better than a girl who is hotter than she thinks she is. This is where dudes can get some real value. Any girl with a score of two or above in this formula is not worth your time and should be ignored and belittled until their perceived hotness drops to acceptable levels.

If this isn't the case, and you are actually super hot, then enjoy it. There are so few of us. Just keep being hot, someone will man up and date you - I promise.

I hope this helps,

Tony