The Spice Must Flow

What a strange weekend. 80 year old birthday party, the past, Dune, hot dogs with cheese in them, a frog, math and a lot of reading.

I like your style.

Most 80 year olds I see make me not want to be 80. They are frail, smell weird and talk too loud. But, seeing four generations of my mom's family having fun and celebrating my grandfather changed my mind. First, he may be 80 and 5'2 but he can still beat me up. Second, it was a really good time. Maybe 80 ain't so bad. He's also great at talking about baseball. Like I will be.

I want a new tattoo so badly. It has been way too long since my last. I want something scientific. I want a science tattoo. Or a Dune tattoo. I'm the worst. Any Dune fans have any Dune tattoo ideas?

I am taking the next LSAT, but it isn't til October. I wonder if I'll study for it or just wing it like the rest of my entire life.

I realize that most of this crap isn't blog worthy, but you're reading it, so - joke's on you.

It was pretty awesome when I was allowed into a bar wearing my giant Crimson Ghost shirt and my friend in his foppish 30 dollar white urban outfitters deep V wasn't. SUCKER.





This is the notebook where I do my maths. It is strange doing math again, strangely cathartic. I missed it.

Diary of a Hater

You know what used to drive me BONKERS and, as I found out from youtube, still does?

Kids who are horrible at Legends of the Hidden Temple.

Quick! Give him your life pendant!

The questions in the beginning were super easy. If you got eliminated right off, you are a moron. Second, the challenges were super easy. Third, the temple was super easy.

The hardest part about the entire temple was a 4 rung ladder. Seriously. How did you not make it through the shrine of the silver monkey? It was only three pieces! THREE PIECES! How did you screw that up? Watching these mouth breathers struggle to put together a foam 3 piece puzzle inspired so much rage in me. It wasn't even a maze. It was just some rooms were locked. Turn around, big deal. My favorite part of the show though, in retrospect since it made me furious at the time, was teammates palpably hating each other. First, the dude would go. He'd be sliding through doors in his team colored sweatpants, busting through walls, climbing through the fake snakes. He was killing it. Eventually though, a temple guard would get him. On to the girl. Who would meander around the temple, never running, go into rooms that were already locked, screw up puzzles, push the same door button over and over while it didn't open and just fail miserably. This is really funny to watch now.

That's one of the longer paragraphs I've ever written on here. Bitching about kids failing at a gameshow from 15 years ago. Moving on.

I've always wanted a piece of the Aggro Crag. Saw one on Ebay once for $35,000. On to Mo for the results: TOO EXPENSIVE. I'd probably pay $500.

People who don't have tattoos always look at mine and tell me their ideas. It is funny to me. People without tattoos always have elaborate plans for their first one. "Well yeah, it's like a butterfly in a circle. The circle represents my grandmother because she was always "AROUND" get it? And I'm the butterfly, because I took a long time to realize I'm a beautiful person, and they both also represent change, cause like a butterfly changes, from a moth into a butterfly. and it's also about my sister. cause she's like beautiful."

Or they just come up with horrible reasons for their completely standard flash tattoos. See above.

Also don't call them tats, or tatts, or ink. Tattoos is fine. Plus it is fun to say! any word with double o is fun to say. Boobs, taboo, woot etc.



Jason must be stoked. I wish some girl would get a tiger face in the shape of a butterfly with my name under it. How romantic.

Rank your tattoo? Ok: last.

Thursday Taste Lesson

It is tough for me to come up with a recommendation today - with me HATING EVERYTHING and all. Sorry, got up on the wrong side of the couch this morning.

The good thing is, in real life, the angrier I get, the funnier I become. Like Bobcat Hulkthwait or something. Except funny. Like Bobcat Hulkthwait the words, not like Bobcat Goldthwait the person.

Please send me GAFABP, I know people are reading this, and you probably need some advice if you are spending your free time reading my blog. GET A LIFE. But don't.

Ok for a recommendation - Frankenstein. And that's mostly because Frankenstein is something I say when I can't think of anything else to say. That and broccoli. Really though, I want to recommend the shit out of this book, because it is wildly misunderstood.


Lookin good, Frank.

I know, he's not really named Frankenstein. Whatever.

So here's my case for the book. It's an excellent book - there's a reason high school English classes grudgingly still read it. It isn't the bumbling monster tale popularized in movies. The monster isn't a clumsy manchild. He is an intelligent, thinking, sympathetic villain. He seeks revenge and busts out horrifying lines like "...I will glut the maw of death, until it be satiated with the blood of your remaining friends" BOO YA. How's that for badassed. That line is so great it stuck with me all this time, I didn't even google it.

The book is a condensed Paradise Lost - with a monster! It's about the relationship of God and man. It's about revenge, it's about love, it's about science, it's about violence - it's awesome. Read it again, for the first time! Does that cliche make sense to anyone?

I love Frankenstein so much I am seriously considering a Frankenstein tattoo. READ IT.

Out of the way, old man

Tonight I went to see some music. The first tinge of crotchety-ness came with the minor feelings of annoyance I had that I was missing a television show. To go see the singer of my favorite band of all time.Uh oh.
It was Tim Barry, lead singer of Avail.
Avail was my very first "real show" - circle pits and sweaty dudes and all the rest. I was hooked. That was THIRTEEN years ago. If that show were a baby it'd have tits by now. I immortalized my favorite band with a tattoo of their logo. My tattoo is almost ten years old - if it were a Great Dane it'd be pissing on the carpet and begging to be put to sleep.
Also, I wasn't seeing Avail tonight, I wasn't running around and sweating and getting jumped on and losing my voice. My ears aren't ringing. I saw the singer, performing an acoustic set. I was standing around and sweating and getting jostled and losing my patience. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed an acoustic set. 15 year-old Tony is rolling in his grave.
On the way home Taking Back Sunday came on my Zune (I know). A band that is, admittedly, 'after me'. They have a greatest hits album - called Notes from the Past. KILL ME. This is a band who is the third generation of music scene I saw from the start. Lifetime-----Saves the Day----Taking Back Sunday. There are bands popular right now who site them as an influence. I am a goddamned living fossil. I am a Trilobite. I thought about crashing my car into the nearest wall, but shuddered at the thought of a spike in my car insurance.
I hope my AARP card gets me a discount at The Church.