BOOM!

I'm back from my sabbatical. It was radical.

Since I've been gone, I've been 28, hungry, funny and Philliesed.

But, hey, what's up?

I got my groove back. And through careful introspection, deductive reasoning and a 3 AM watching of the terrible movie, Legion, I now know the difference between Tyrese and Tyson Beckford. Just don't ask me to tell you, because a) that's impossible and b) you must come upon this knowledge yourself. Tabula Rasa or some shit.

Also I saw Thor. It was cool until he turned into a total pussy at the end and was smooching up on Natalie Portman. Like the Thunder God has time for that bullshit. AS IF.

So, since I'm back, feel free to write to me for (good) advice (from a bad person), suggest playlists, purple stuff, or whatever.

In other news:
-My cat just walked into the room, saw the dream catcher (sometimes my dreams need to be caught), which has been there for four months and made a noise I never heard her make before. Like a mix of a growl, a purr, and some dumb bird noise. Cats are weird, but maybe she saw a ghost because I heard cats can do that. Probably not mine though, she gets her head stuck in bags ALL THE TIME. /endcatnews
-I didn't get raptured
-Someone just drove by the HQ blasting a Crystal Waters-esque 90s techno lite dance club hit jam. BLASTING. At 9:15 AM. I almost ran downstairs just to see what kind of human would be into that sort of thing. Guesses?

Check me out here, where I bring the hot fire on a sometimes-more-than-once-a-day basis. Really worth it. It's a twitter link. To my twitter.

Get some.

K-S my H

So I found this thing of York peppermint patties from Christmas. And it made me feel like this song. Presumably, strippers and blow make most people feel like this song.

I am sure there is a heart attack joke in here somewhere.

This is funny to me because someone thought you might want to follow along with the lyrics and made a Youtube video of that. Maybe they are picturing people using this to do some low budget, at-home Karaoke to this song. That makes me sad.

Sweet typeface bro.

One of these days I'm going to make an anonymous blog so I can blog about actual crazy shit and you can laugh at me and people I know in real life. As for now, I think that would be a terrible idea.

I think one of the greatest hurdles most novelists need to clear is the ability, shamelessness and willingness to sell out their closest friends and family. I strive for this. question mark??



No car updates. I see this shaking out one of two ways:

a) car is totaled. I am forced to haggle with insurance over price of car, takes a few weeks for a check to come.

b) car is not totaled. I must wait a few weeks for car to be fixed, pay a $500 deductible and my car will never be the same.

BOTH THESE OPTIONS SUCK.

Uh Oh

It's bad that I love this song, right? It's just so happy! Also, it doesn't hurt that I want to date 5/6th of the back up singers (the girls).

I think this whole I HATE HIPSTERS vs. STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HIPSTERS vs. Meh is going to come to a head. Or just totally fizzle out like everything else ever.

I want a new tattoo.

Oh crap, that song reminds me, next playlist (besides all the other next playlists): guilty pleasures. I swear I tried to make a playlist the other day but grooveshark was all like "fuck you" and I was all like "Psssh, I don't wanna anyway." But I did wanna because you guys need one. Because you have terrible taste in music.

Here is a list of things I have been enjoying lately:

The League - FX tv show that is way funnier than I expected it to be.
Sons of Anarchy - I know, it looks dumb. Actually it kind of is dumb, but I love it.
Colder Weather - boo ya hoodies and flannel and knit caps
Mopo - Mopo is a cat.
Rice - Where you been hiding all my life super globally popular grain?
I'd Rather Die Than - this phrase is always hilarious to me
Rock Band 3 I had a sworn allegiance to Guitar Hero for a long time, but I am nerding out on the Rock Band keyboard. Ugh.

Halloweekend Rodeo Roundup

This was the best part of Halloween. The sound quality on this video is terrible for some reason. It sounded great there. The show was perfect, everyone there, despite being 25-45, was 16 for the night. Including the band. Ted's impression of Danzig was so spot-on. I have never seen so many 35 year old stage divers.

Other than that, I was a lumberjack for Halloween, as I like costumes that require little effort and deliver maximum punch. It went over well.

Some stupid baseball teams played each other or something, I don't remember.

Send me some Good Advice From a Bad Persons for tomorrow, please. C'mon I know you want to be immortalized on that super popular Phillyist website.

Oh and then last night a bunch of people voted and talked about it on facebook. Way to go voters! I'm so proud you did something that takes four minutes. It's like a starbucks trip, except free and there was probably a shorter line.


Got a couple playlists in the works too.

Playlist

I'm posting up one of my favorite types of playlists, and it probably is only the first installment. The BREAK UP PLAYLIST. A very easy playlist to gather songs for, since musicians are babies who get dumped constantly and write songs about it. Now there's all sorts of break up songs; angry, sad, hopeful, different hopeful etc. We'll see how this one plays out.

Nothing to see here.

1. No Children - The Mountain Goats Let's start this one off with a bang "I hope I lie / and tell everyone you were a good wife / And I hope you die / I hope we both die"
2. Puke + Cry - Dinosaur Jr. It's called Puke + Cry, I think you get it. I love Dinosaur Jr.
3. When will you come home? - Galaxie 500 I love this band, they are great to fall asleep to. This is one of the sad break up songs.
4. Jericho RVA - Running in Circles "When it's all over we'll say we had it good / what a backwards way of saying what we mean" Excellent band, like if Avail and Hot Water Music had a baby. That reminds me!
5. Hot Water Music - The Sleeping Fan "I spent everything I had / and I gave everything I could to you / and I left myself with nothing but a burning mess" We were due for an angry one. Burning mess? Nice.
6. Exit Wounds - Tim Barry I think the title is unsubtle enough here.
7. Nights Like These - Lucero Being a drunk, warbling, pseudo-country band you better be able to write good break up songs. And Lucero is. This is probably their best.
8. Dedicate it - The Afghan Whigs This entire playlist could be Afghan Whigs songs, Dulli makes great, evil, heartbreaking break up songs, but this is probably my favorite.
9. O'Rourke's, 1:20 AM - The Good Life This is a song about how everything sucks just a little more when you are recently single. Their best break up song is definitely Inmates, but I couldn't bring myself to put a nine-minute song on this list.
10. The Martyr - Cursive Wow, this song is brutal. I needed to put a song on here about how shitty I am. "Sweet baby don't cry / Your tears are only alibis / to prove you still feel"
11. Don't Hate Me - The Get Up Kids This one is one of the positive, hopeful break up songs. Well, every break up I played this song during ended up permanent, so there's that. Plus I just love Four Minute Mile so much, I had to include it.
12. Rocks Tonic Juice Magic - Saves the Day Saves the Day and the Get up Kids are forever linked in my mind, so I had to use my favorite STD break up song. "You and I are like when fire and the ocean floor collide" was certainly a favorite AOL away message among girls I knew back in the day.
13. Nice and Blue - mewithoutyou "You were a song I couldn't sing / You were a story I couldn't tell /I've only ever loved myself / but I've loved myself so well" Their name is mewithoutyou for Christ's sake, I had to include them. I love this song

13 already? There will definitely be a part two to this one in the future. There are just too many break up songs out there. Or maybe I've just had too many break ups. Either way, you win.

Nerd Rock

Another playlist, lucky you. This one is for you nerds.
Again, I tried to make a playlist that I would actually want to listen to, and hopefully introduce you to some cool music you might not know. Also, best picture.

BEST.


1. Fett's Vette - MC Chris A rap about Boba Fett's hard life and fiscal plans? Yes please.
2. We are 138 - The Misfits "But Tony! The Misfits aren't nerds!" Oh really? This song is a reference to George Lucas' first film, THX 1138. Bam!
3. Bikeage - Descendents One of my favorite songs by the punk-nerd godfathers. I don't think I have to run down their nerd cred, but one look at their logo should be plenty.
4.C'Est Super - Daedelus I was lucky enough to meet "Daedelus" once, when I nerdily asked him if he was named after the mythological Daedelus, or the literary Daedelus from James Joyce, I was shocked to find out it was even nerdier than that. Apparently he is named after some giant robot from some giant robot show. Not my nerd forte, but unbelievably nerdy anyway.
5. In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 - Coheed and Cambria This song kicks of the narrative of a sweeping and embarrassingly nerdy concept album about robots and space and all sorts of geeky shit. Their first album is certainly better, but this one fits better here. Also of nerdnote, an homage to Rush's homage to scifi, 2113.
6. Holiday Song - Pixies For a band who all look like high school teachers, they made some incredible music - a victory for those of us who look the part.
7. The Temple - The Afghan Whigs A cover of a song from Jesus Christ Superstar. Yup.
8. Hold the Line - Major Lazer You need to watch the video to fully appreciate how nerdy Diplo got with this. This song/band is based on a fictional character who lost his arm in the "zombie wars" and had it replaced with a lazer gun. Bonus points in the video for action figures.
9. Punk Rock Academy - Atom and His Package THE nerd punk anthem. Bonus points for Philadelphia!
10. Guitar and Video Games - Sunny Day Real Estate I couldn't leave out an incredible and beautiful song called Guitar and Video Games
11. The Devil and Maggie Chascarillo - Lucero One of my favorite bands doing their song about Love & Rockets.
12. Thought I was - Rainer Maria Naming your band after a German poet who died almost 100 years ago is pretty nerdy.
13. Flight of Icarus - Iron Maiden Tons of their songs are nerdy, but I had to go with the one about Icarus.

Super

Here's a playlist that I came up with on my own. Thanks for nothing, readers.

This is the playlist of songs that make me feel awesome. This is the list of songs that play in my head at all times. Blame these for my massive ego, or blame my massive ego for constantly playing these songs in my head, either way. These songs make me feel better, they make me feel like I can do anything, they occasionally make me do bad stuff - they are the stuff that dreams are made of.

Pow!

1. Tony's Theme - Pixies "This is a song about a superhero named Tony" Pretty straightforward. To-ny To-ny To-ny.
2. My Hero - Foo Fighters This song gives me goosebumps when I picture myself in slow motion saving people from a fire or vanquishing foes set to this.
3. Hustlin' - Rick Ross Best first line of all time. This song once got me so excited in the bar I slapped my friend in the balls, just because this song was on.
4. More Human Than Human - White Zombie More human than human? That has to be a good thing, right?
5. Street Walkin' - Dan Auerbach The first few times I heard this song I thought he was saying "sheet walking." I created this old-timey saying in my head based on pirates that was "sheet-walking" - the tides are high, the wind is whipping and there you are, atop the sails and masts and crow's nest, defiant. Sheet walkin' - pretty badass right? Street walkin' is badass too, I guess.
6. The Mariner's Revenge Song - The Decemberists A nigh nine-minute pirate-themed revenge opus? Yes please.
7. Search and Destroy - Iggy & The Stooges I AM a street-walkin' cheetah with a heart full of napalm.
8. Where Eagles Dare - The Misfits "I ain't no goddamn son of a bitch" and it's named after a movie about killing Nazis. This.
9. Simple Song - Avail My favorite song of all time.
10. Through the Fire and the Flames - Dragonforce I couldn't resist.
11. Birthday - Kid Dynamite Every list like this needs some Philly sing-along posi hardcore.
12. Party Hard - Andrew WK I like to party.
13. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N' Roses Every badass needs a badassed car, and this was my favorite car's theme song.

I feel like going out and kicking some ass now. What are your songs to get you stoked up? Feel free to go out and do some awesome shit to these songs, that's kind of the point.

Gimmicky

Another.

Today's playlist is a bit of a challenge for me since I don't like relaxing and my musical vocabulary proves it.

The best part of this was definitely scrolling through unhappy hipsters looking for a suitable picture. Plus I feel even less bad for stealing their pictures than I usually do, since most of theirs are pinched from Dwell (which I am suddenly ashamed to read). That website certainly captures (sarcastically) the existential dismay that is living in fancy, post-modern homes.

This is a playlist for a Sunday morning. Perhaps you've woken up next to a comely companion, perhaps you'll joyfully waste the day away, perhaps this moment plucked from your life is one that will stick with you curiously, perhaps perhaps perhaps.


It was really hard not to use Helvetica for this. It just felt so right it was wrong. Click me!

1. I Don't Mind - The Decemberists What are the chances the fictional couple in that picture don't listen to The Decemberists? None? Less than that? I also enjoy them. Crap.
2. Mambo Sun - T. Rex I find glam relaxing. Plus this song would totally impress a lady waking up next to me. T. Rex has one of the best band names and album covers ever.
3. This Must Be The Place - The Talking Heads Sticking with the glammish theme here, I love this song
4. Relative Ways - ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead One of their mellowest songs - I can't believe this is their first appearance on one of my playlists.
5. Velouria - The Bad Plus A three piece jazz ensemble covering The Pixies? I win at hipness.
6. I Shall Be Released - The Band One of two bands my parents got me into.
7. Thirteen - Big Star You have to like Big Star if you want to be respected by anyone. Alex Chilton is an indie-rock god and has a Replacements song named after him
8. Paper Boats - Nada Surf The band best known for the late 90's MTV anthem "Popular" made some great records.
9. Bees Bein' Strugglin' - The Octopus Project An experimental electronic band from Austin named after a cephalopod? Scene points through the roof!
10. Cut Your Hair - Pavement Sometimes I want to hear some A-list college rock, ok?
11. Section 9 (Light & Day/Reach for the Sun) - Polyphonic Spree This song makes me inexplicably happy. Deal with it.
12. Hey Sandy - Polaris You know this song, even if you don't know you know it. Look it up, you'll be awesomely surprised when you hear it.
13. Gorilla Meat - Jogger A pleasant hippy-electronic tune. Get into it. UYD4L

That playlist made me want to do crosswords and eat eggs, mission accomplished.

All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia

Sorry kids, hope you missed me yesterday.

Keep the playlist ideas coming, we have some good ones. And some weird ones. Keep up the good/weird work.

So I was watching Planet Earth on Blu Ray (us bloggers live the life) last night, and came upon this hilarious/terrifying when dead dude.

Kill it with fire.

That's a deer skull. A deer with fangs. Why do deer need fangs? Simply to terrify me? Well, good luck looking like this:


Pet it with fire.

Ummm, ok, in theory fangs sound cool and all, but this execution is terrible. He looks like the joker deer who puts chop sticks in his mouth at dinner to make his deer buddies laugh. Your skull is way more terrifying than you are.

In other news, I still need a job and have yet to become a millionaire writer. You guys probably thought one or both of those things was the reason I didn't post yesterday. You'd be wrong. I didn't post yesterday because I am lazy.

My actual recent playlist:
Gaslight Anthem
Cap'n Jazz
Lucero
Descendents
UYD

In my days of looking at things on the internet, I've seen some crazy, horrible stuff. Then I came across this. That website is horrible. In all the terribleness that exists on the internet, that site might take the cake. And the cake is made of barf and shame. Seriously don't click that link. I don't even know why I posted it. If you can't figure out what bad-dragon.com/toys might be, then you probably aren't prepared for it, and if you are prepared for it, I probably don't want you anywhere near me.

Edit: after a few complaints - that link is Not Safe For Work. Obviously, since it's pretty much Not Safe for Life. Also feel free to play my game - which of your friends is most likely to own one of those?

Thursday Taste Lesson

Ahhh this playlist thing is workin'! I like it. Maybe it's just indulgent, but, this is a blog after all.

Today's playlist: Sad songs disguised as happy songs. This might be a challenge.



1. Tears of a Clown - The English Beat
2. Pints of Guinneess Make you Strong - Against Me!
3. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths
4. Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads
5. Last Caress - The Misfits
6. Boys Don't Cry - The Cure
7. Whiskey in the Jar - Thin Lizzy
8. 16 Military Wives - The Decemberists
9. Holland, 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
10. Feel the Pain - Dinosaur Jr.
11. Radio, Radio - Elvis Costello
12. Stuck Between Stations - The Holdsteady
13. Paper Thin - Hot Water Music

Whew, that was a tough one. I think it's an excellent list.

Any additions to this list? I love songs like this. Comment your favorite happy/sad songs, or suggestions for other playists.

Also today you should definitely check out Catalog Living, another funny caption site. They take pictures from catalogs (looks to be mostly fancy houseware places) and write funny captions. I enjoy it.

Keep it real.

Diary of a Hater

I hate Reggae. I think it is annoying and grating and simplistic.

Reggae is dance music - it is music to be played at clubs for people to dance to. Reggae is fundamentally Pop. Bob Marley = Britney Spears. The great and esteemed Bob Marley wrote derivative dance songs that sounded like every other Reggae dance song. Yet somehow he ended up on the walls of many confused, annoying, white college kids.



Yo bro, I love Linkin Park and all, but when I want to chillax, I just put on Bob.

At least he's sincere. Nothing is worse than shitty white folks playing shitty Reggae.

Dear OAR, your song "Crazy Game of Poker" is the worst song ever written. First off, it's way too long, if your song is longer than Bohemian Rhapsody, and 1/100th as good, there are problems. Second, you guys aren't allowed to try to cajole the crowd into saying "Jah" and "revolution" - you know, cause you're shitty white dudes and your audience is comprised solely of shitty white dudes.

Dear Sublime, just stop. It was bad enough when you were a band and your lead singer wasn't dead yet - but still touring without him? Ouch. Why do people love Sublime? Lowest common denominator punk mixed with lowest common denominator Reggae mixed with pop - that's their recipe for success and I'm sending it back. No thanks.




Also hating:
back pain
Lebron James
being so far from my birthday

Not hating:
SWT
rice cooker
cap'n Jazz

Weekend Rodeo Roundup

It was a bad weekend for nerds' eyeballs, but a good weekend for me.

Best part of the weekend was definitely seeing Cap'n Jazz - another band I have loved for a long time and never thought I would get to see live. It was 100 degrees outside and, with the throng of aging hipsters who obviously eat a ton of vegan cupcakes, it was oppressive inside. It was the sweatiest I've been in a long time, but I was far from the sweatiest of the day. That title probably goes to the shirtless dude who kept squeezing between my friend and I like we were those big rollers at a car wash. Yuck.

The show itself was incredible, they sounded great. Their recorded work has a certain low fi, frenetic, verging-on-sloppy feel to it. The live show made me realize that they are talented musicians whose chaotic sound is carefully cultivated and intentional. They recreated their songs loyally and impressively. I guess if you have jazz in your name, you better bring it. I have never seen them before, so realizing the singer is a cross between Mitch Hedberg and Peter Sarsgaard was a bit of a surprise.



That's a video from the show - which was less than 48 hours ago. I love the internet!

Here's a quick list of bands I can think of off the top of my head that take their name from a Cap'n Jazz song:

We are Scientists!
Soria
Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Rocky Rococo
Troubled by Insects

Other than that, this weekend had some awesome Phillies games, a crazy thunder storm and a hectic Sunday. I'm so glad my friends thought baby pools and Depends were a good way to celebrate turning 30. I brought them a case of Hurricanes. That case was distressingly inexpensive. It was less than twenty dollars for 480 oz. of disgusting booze. Things shouldn't be that cheap, I would have felt much better about the whole thing if it had cost ten more dollars.

Thursday Taste Lesson

Hey Google image search, I don't like your new style. Go back to the old way. Thanks. Despite that, I found a gem to write some words on top of for today's playlist album cover.
We're going with a reader submitted theme today, thanks reader! I'm going to try not to be too literal and corny with this one. Maybe. I am going to try to make a playlist I'd actually want to listen to.

See what I did there?

1. Not for Sale - Electric Frankenstein
2. Wolf Like Me - TV on the Radio
3. Gigantic - Pixies
4. The Call of Ktulu - Metallica
5. Brimstone Rock - 16 Horsepower
6. Am I Demon - Danzig
7. Earth People - Dr. Octagon
8. Tarantulas Attack - The Explosion
9. Surprise! You're Dead! - Faith No More
10. The Trooper - Iron Maiden
11. Holy Diver - Killswitch Engage
12. Zombies - King Khan and the BBQ Show
13. Through the Fire and the Flames - Dragonforce

Whew, that was harder than I thought it'd be. I could have just thrown up an entire Iced Earth album and called it a day, but no! I brought the realness. You're welcome. Any ideas for more playlists? Send em to me!

I'll take this time to point out a couple artists from the list you might not know.

16 Horsepower - alt-country from Denver. These guys are dark, vaudevillian, American and awesome. Really an interesting take on instrumentation and composition. Through all their weirdness they still manage to make great songs, helping them escape what could feel very gimicky. The singer's father was an apocalyptic, fire and brimstone preacher - a voice and lyrical source that are definitely recognizable.

King Khan - in any of is iterations, with the BBQ Show or with the Shrines, this dude brings it. Over the top showmanship combined with a surprisingly competent and nuanced band make them very successful and fun. Get into it. 70s funk/soul/pop/rock/garage/psych.

I also suggest tacos. Get some tacos.




ADDENDUM: I came across this site and I was like "oh man who should I send this to?" and then I decided: everyone.

For grammar snobs AND tattoo snobs!.

Thursday Taste Lesson

You know what I thought would be fun? Making playlists. I already love doing this and figured I could just make some funny photoshops, get some suggestions from you and then post it here! Content is important to me, order really isn't. I usually listen to them on shuffle. Since the songs have little to do with each other beyond the arbitrary theme I slapped on them, they don't need to be played in order.

Here's the first, one of my favorite types of playlists:

Hey girl, hey

1. Mexico - Cake
2. Candy - Morphine
3. Innocent When You Dream - Tom Waits
4. Guitar and Video Games - Sunny Day Real Estate
5. Oh Messy Life - caP' n Jazz
6. Lost Cause - Beck
7. Untitled - Interpol
8. Skyway - The Replacements
9. Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
10. First Breath after a Coma - Explosions in the Sky
11. Waiting on Wild Horses - The Good Life
12. Shinkansen - Daedalus
13. Oslo Skyline - Jaga Jazzist

Ok 13 is a good number. I realized this would also be a great playlist to kill yourself to. But don't do that. I need readers.




Topical playlist time!

Splash!

1. Get off of My Cloud - The Rolling Stones
2. Girls Like Status - The Hold Steady
3. Outta Harm's Way - King Khan and the Shrines
4. Wonderful People - Q and not U
5. Staring at the Sun - TV on the Radio
6. Roots Radical - Rancid
7. Someday I Suppose - The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones
8. Honey White - Morphine
9. Mirror in the Bathroom/Rotating Head Medley - The English Beat
10. Radio, Radio - Elvis Costello
11. Velocity - Face to Face
12. Santa Monica - Everclear
13. Kate is Great - The Bouncing Souls

WOW! That's an awesome summer party right there. Now, be advised, that is for summer fun hangout daytime party or driving around. Not to be used for road trips, breezy summer nights or summertime blues.



Making playlists is fun! Please feel free to suggest a playlist theme, or comment on mine, or make your own! This blog doesn't have enough interaction. Comment on my posts and I'll comment back! That would be really exciting for you, I bet.

Thursday Taste Lesson

I have been obsessed with root beer lately. I am on a vision quest to find my favorite. I've tried many kinds. I have even tried sparkling green tea root beer. Which was, surprisingly, pretty tasty. Also got root beer popsicles and I am currently trying to make root beer ice cream. I am obsessed. To this point, my personal favorite and first recommendation to you today is Virgil's.



Delicious! Spicy and creamy, just how I like it. Plus look at that bottle! Pop top! That picture on there didn't hurt Virgil's appeal to me either.

I'm always on the lookout for a better root beer, so feel free to suggest.


Another blog I check daily:

GIZMODO

Keeps me current on tech, gadgets and cool science stories. I am a nerd. I have embraced this.

Next suggestion:

Muad'Dib!

Kittens! Hooray! Especially Fremen kittens. Fear is the mind killer.

Oh that reminds me. Read Dune. Seriously. One of my favorite books ever, transcends its nerdy sci-fi ness by being supremely well written and compelling. Or maybe I'm just a nerd, but it is truly excellent. Don't watch the movie, it is terrible. Awesomely terrible.


Shai Hulud!

I also suggest you guys give me a new job. I could use one. Thanks.

Any of you like Kid Dynamite? I am suggesting a band called the Shook Ones. They sound so much like Kid Dynamite it is almost embarrassing, but still, hey! new Kid Dynamite.
Rock!

Their later stuff is a little more Lifetime / Saves the Day, but still awesome. Highly recommend.

That'll do it for today. I hope these things make you a better person.

Thursday Taste Lesson

I like to think that it shows character growth and a healthier personality that I've had a much easier time with my suggestions than my Diary of a Hater columns. Feels good. Either way, Shakespeare's got to get paid, son - on to the blog.

No nerd theme today. Sorry nerds, you can't really expect more than one day. You are nerds after all. Now I have to get back some cred I lost last week. Hey ladies who want to make out with me and dudes who want to high five me, this one is for you.

Some bad ass rock and roll, because I'm a badassed rock and roller.

The Afghan Whigs

I know, Greg Dulli is an ass clown blah blah. I don't care. Most talented people are ass clowns. I have been listening to them way too much lately. They have their roots in the whole not-totally-garage-or-punk-but-somewhat-inappropriately-angry-for-white-suburban-kids scene like Dinosaur Jr. and the Replacements. Unlike those two bands, they didn't collapse under their own weight and spin-off self indulgent and crappy singer-based solo projects. Maybe Greg Dulli ain't so bad, eh? They stayed together, matured and came to be one of those underrated critical darlings - which usually means band that should be good but just sucks and critics like them anyway. But! not the case. Great songwriting, some truly, sociopathically dark lyrics and a just-low-fi enough sound come together really well for them. Listen to them!


Bea Arthur headlockin' a raptor

Brandon Bird is a genius. Not much more to say.

Enjoy.


I don't know if y'all twitter or what, but here's some folks you should follow:

@mental_floss - awesome magazine
@charliemcdowell - funny! girls are the worst! (not really Charlie McDowell)
@zoowithroy - best Phillies blog
@pattonoswalt - the funniest twitter I follow
@LitCritHulk - exactly what it sounds like





This is the best/worst/best thing ever:

Close shave, America

That's all. You're welcome.

Thursday Taste Lesson

So I guess Wednesdays are Tony has nothing to post Wednesdays, works for me.
Tough run lately. AT&T is boning me royally, my phone is completely broken and worthless and they won't replace it. AND if I want a new one I have to pay full price PLUS some dumb 75 dollar fee. Sweet. Car's been in the shop all week, I've been driving a Forester loaner. Work was canceled last night, my internet was out almost all of today, backing me up with about 20 hours of work. So here I am blogging! Hooray! The highlight of my week so far has been a giant turtle I saw crossing the street.


So on to your first taste lesson. First up - television. I am going to recommend a show which just started it's fourth season. Friday Night Lights. I know, it looks like a dumb high school drama football show - and it is. Beyond that, this show is excellent. If you've never seen it you wouldn't know that they don't take the typical approach to making television. Tons of hand-held shots, long takes and ad-libbing. Almost every shot was the first take and there is no blocking. The (surprisingly talented) actors are allowed to move around and inflect as they see fit. This bold move gives the show a different, more realistic feel. The writing that is there is excellent, the characters are more nuanced than you'd expect from a show like this and the story lines are Americana melodrama. I can't recommend this show highly enough. I have been waiting way too long for the fourth season due to some programming hell the show went through and I couldn't be more excited. I am watching The Wire on DVD right now, and to be honest, I like FNL better. The Wire feels a little emporer's-new-clothes to me. Maybe I'll sing a different tune once I've finished it. Anyway, watch FNL - thank me later.

Second up today - music.



I might have mentioned this band before. Red Clay River. I caught them opening for Tim Barry and have been listening to them way too much since. They are from West Virginia, I don't just say that for trivial background. They wear it proudly. They are a smoky mix of Tom Waits and Modest Mouse and hillbilly country. They make funky, rollicking music for the holler and show an impressive ability to craft pretty, wistful big-sky-and-open-car-window tunes. I enjoy them thoroughly, you should too.

Out of the way, old man

Tonight I went to see some music. The first tinge of crotchety-ness came with the minor feelings of annoyance I had that I was missing a television show. To go see the singer of my favorite band of all time.Uh oh.
It was Tim Barry, lead singer of Avail.
Avail was my very first "real show" - circle pits and sweaty dudes and all the rest. I was hooked. That was THIRTEEN years ago. If that show were a baby it'd have tits by now. I immortalized my favorite band with a tattoo of their logo. My tattoo is almost ten years old - if it were a Great Dane it'd be pissing on the carpet and begging to be put to sleep.
Also, I wasn't seeing Avail tonight, I wasn't running around and sweating and getting jumped on and losing my voice. My ears aren't ringing. I saw the singer, performing an acoustic set. I was standing around and sweating and getting jostled and losing my patience. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed an acoustic set. 15 year-old Tony is rolling in his grave.
On the way home Taking Back Sunday came on my Zune (I know). A band that is, admittedly, 'after me'. They have a greatest hits album - called Notes from the Past. KILL ME. This is a band who is the third generation of music scene I saw from the start. Lifetime-----Saves the Day----Taking Back Sunday. There are bands popular right now who site them as an influence. I am a goddamned living fossil. I am a Trilobite. I thought about crashing my car into the nearest wall, but shuddered at the thought of a spike in my car insurance.
I hope my AARP card gets me a discount at The Church.