Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Taste Lesson

Woah, long weekend. Sorry chumps.

By that I mean I worked all weekend and used the holiday as an excuse to neglect you, my little babies.

Dear Tony,

I have been taking Colloidal Silver for years now. It helps my body battle various one-celled bacteria fungi and other microorganisms. The occasional use has now developed into a full blown obsession. I mean I can't get enough of this stuff. The problem is, there is an odd side effect that I've noticed. My skin now has a bluish tint to it. I've looked into this and found out that I have Argyria, which is the grayish-bluish pigmentation of the whole body. So now I walk around with my Smurf-like skin with no help in site. Help me Tony...you're my only hope.

-Browne



Bam! A GAFABP out of no where, I keep you on your toes readers.

Well Browne (more like Bluee, amirite?!),

You sure are a crazy old man. I know that homespun health treatments based on conspiracy theories are always a good idea, and putting strange chemicals into your body seems flawless, but you've been burned.

Going back to taking a wacky cure-all tonic, snake-oil elixir from the early 20th century might seem like a great idea, but this one might not be your best bet. I haven't done any research on this, beyond thinking "Is it a good idea to put a solution of metal in my body that has been proven over and over to provide no benefit? No." But I do know that silver used to be used in photography. This is why you turned blue! You're like a giant underdeveloped picture! That's really funny to me. You turned blue! I love that. I think it is an appropriate punishment for stupidity to have your skin change colors.

You deserved it.

I guess I don't really have any advice here, beyond STOP BEING A CRAZY OLD MAN.

Thanks for writing!

Tony

Bam. Thanks for writing old man, hope you suckers enjoyed that GAFABP. Exciting news: you'll be getting another tomorrow, but not here!

Also these are awesome, feel free to buy them for me:


Buy me all three!

Read about them here.

Also if these taste half as good as they look, I want to eat 1,000 of them.

5 comments:

  1. I saw a news report on that side effect... apparently u just need to stop taking it to get it to go away.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I works even better if you put a heat lamp on it and stick it inside a bank tellers coin vault.

    ReplyDelete