Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Bender




I feel like I did a bunch of blow today. Not like I'd know, but I bet it's like this. Because I woke up 3-4 hours earlier than I typically do and I am killing it today. And by killing it I mean stressing myself out and getting a lot done but also crazed.

I have a friend from out of town visiting, so I have been cleaning my apartment hard. It's fucking dumb. I have way too many clothes to store. I have one closet and it is small and not in my bedroom. My dresser is full with about 1/3 of my clothing. So, I don't know what to do. My usual method of piling up dirty clothes on my kitchen floor and clean clothes on my kitchen table (my washer/dryer is in my kitchen) is not going to cut it. Oh well.

Also I have an article due tomorrow and nothing to write. Please give me some advice letters. I need one for tomorrow. Also I am supposed to be writing some sort of year end top ten list or countdown or something. My ideas so far are top 10 sandwiches I ate this year and top 10 funniest nicknames I came up with for myself or strangers. I don't think either of those will run. Will gladly accept suggestions for that too.

I am making Christmas cards this year. While I consider myself fairly crafty for a straight dude, I am screwing this up. Four days later and this ink on these cards has yet to dry. I did some research and found out that this ink is designed to NOT dry. So you can like sprinkle it with glitter or fairy dust or some other bullshit. So I bought a hair dryer at Walmart. That didn't get the job done. I need to borrow an embossing gun. This is my life. I need a moment.

I fancy myself a pretty good gift giver. I like to get people thoughtful gifts and really pride myself on my ability to do so. Not so much this year. I have no good ideas. Oh Christmas, you are a cruel mistress.

I think by the end of the day the totals will be: 50 smoked cigarettes, 1 cat punched in the face, 1 stubbed toe and/or pinched finger and/or bumped head (it just feels like one of those days), 5 Diet Pepsis, 3 screamed F words (well, just one F word screamed 3 times), and hopefully 2 eaten chocolate chip cookies (hey, they aren't all bad).

Off to rake some leaves at my parents house. Holler at me with GAFABP for tomorrow or list ideas.

8 comments:

  1. I might actually do that. Or maybe I'm just really hungry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd go with a Top Ten Fuck Ups of 2010...as in people who fucked up royaly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think that might get a little too political for my blog overlords. Also too much research for me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Top ten things that annoyed you in 2010

    ReplyDelete
  5. Top 10 abbreviations...
    Top 10 horrible Ed Hardy things you've seen EVERYWHERE
    Top 10 Songs you didnt know you liked?
    Top 10 Unexpected places you've seen a hot girl
    Top 10 Words that need to stop being said in America

    ReplyDelete
  6. Top 10 Situations Where Placido Polanco's Huge Head Caused Problems
    Top 10 Reasons to Punch Someone Who Hasn't Said Anything to You
    Top 10 Inappropriate Boner Situations

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you, my readers. My list will be top 10 reasons to punch Placido Polanco who is wearing Ed Hardy with an inappropriate boner while immediately after finishing a sandwich.

    ReplyDelete